“You look like you’re pregnant.”
That quote has been engrained in my head since the day a male classmate said it to me in the third grade. I can still feel my face flushing when I think about it, and I’m pretty certain that’s the exact moment I became incredibly insecure with my body.
For as long as I can remember, I have compared my body to the body of other women — not only women in movies and magazines, but the women in my daily life, including family and friends. My mother and sister have always been naturally thin, while I have always been naturally larger (or as my mom called it when I was younger, “big boned”). I don’t remember how the conversation started, but I remember the day in late grade school when my grandmother told me I could suck in my stomach, and I have been sucking it in every single day since.
It’s crazy to think that I have felt this way about myself for the majority of my life, and yet I haven’t seriously done anything about it. I’ve tried a couple diets and failed in a week or less, and the same exact thing has happened when I’ve tried to start exercising. All these years of insecurity and gaining more weight over the past year have recently lead me to make a choice: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. And I’ll be holding myself publicly accountable right here, on this blog, starting today.
Today I am starting the 21 Day Fix program with the hopes of jump-starting my weight loss and helping myself get to a size I will be confident and comfortable in. To any friends and family that may be reading this, I apologize in advance for not accepting dinner-at-a-restaurant invitations and avoiding events involving a lot of alcohol, but I hope you can understand and support me through this journey because I’m surely going to need all the help I can get.
So, here we go!
P.S. I kind of hate how expensive this was (for me), but here’s what I’ll be working with for the next 21 days: